As most of you probably know, Netflix’s latest hit has been the reality series called Indian Matchmaking. Matchmaking is always a hot topic. The show follows a long time celebrity matchmaker named Sima Taparia as she matches very particular clients across India and the United States. 

The show has received much criticism and feedback from viewers, many of them upset that clients ask for (too?) particular cultural backgrounds, specific ethnicities, social groups, family status and so on. However! As matchmakers, this is nothing new to us – we have heard it all and then some!
 
Everyone has in their mind what they think they want in a partner, or who they’re being pressured to find. At the end of the day, please remember dating is not simply ordering off a menu: successful partnerships are so much more than that. Love is felt with the heart, and not the head. We let our heads get in the way. Your perfect match is likely outside of your ideas. But how valuable is love? Priceless. We are here to help you find love. 
 
We can write out what we want until we are blue in the face, but we won’t know until we meet “the one.” Despite always encouraging our clients to come in with an open mind when finding a partner, the truth is everyone has their own different  and specific criteria in terms of what they find attractive. So how we navigate this is to encourage our clients to articulate their preferences (negotiables), and absolute deal-breakers (the non-negotiables).


Suggested Negotiables

1. Ethnicity – You might feel pressure from family and friends to stay within your ethnicity. Doing so means you’re losing out on so many wonderful matches. Be open to meeting different races, you will most likely be surprised with who you connect with and what you learn along the way.

2. Religion/Political Beliefs – This is a touchy subject for many, and also often a non-negotiable. What people still don’t realize is in 2020 is that we can happily have friendships and even relationships with people of different religions. As long as you have an open mind and an open heart, the willingness to discuss others’ points of view means that once you fall in love, those areas in life just flow naturally and are not a problem.

3. Wealth – You probably want to find someone that makes what you make, or usually more. That being said, money can change quickly. Someone can lose their job or business, and things can change. If this is what you’re going in focusing on you might end up very unhappy. However, things that don’t change are someone’s drive, ambition, work ethic, and outlook on life and business.

4. Appearance – You probably have an idea in mind of your ideal “type.” We all do. I can’t tell you how many times we have convinced a client to meet someone outside of their type and they hit it off and were pleasantly surprised by the attraction! You can’t gauge attraction by a photo, it needs to be felt in person. Chemistry!

Non-Negotiables:

As matchmakers, we have seen many dealbreakers. Our top things to never negotiate on:

1. Lifestyle – If someone is a smoker and you aren’t, this probably is not going to work long term. It’s important to find someone with similar views on health and wellness as you. Otherwise, we clearly see it won’t work in the longterm.

2. Ethics – You can’t change someone’s morals. A good person is a good person, and that is something that is non-negotiable. Regardless of background or beliefs, a strong moral compass is essential for a healthy relationship.

3. Kids and marriage – This is one hot topic that we say not to ignore. If someone is determined to have children and you don’t want them, this isn’t something to ignore or be open to. These are two of the most important decisions you can make in your life, and want to have this discussion upfront.

We hope this helps as you continue on your dating journey! You can check out Indian Matchmaking now on Netflix. Contact our team to find more about our matchmaking services, available across North America, info@lyonselite.com.