A lot of my single friends have expressed how – where they didn’t feel a strain from being single prior to COVID – they felt the strain during; isolating for so long without a partner has tested many to the limit. Mind you the grass is often greener – many people who were isolating with ‘their person’ subsequently broke up with their person because they had never spent that much time cooped up combined with such a worldwide boiling pot of uncertainty and stress added to the mix.
But the holiday season is different: it’s always been hard on singles (pandemic or no pandemic) what with all the rom-com Christmas classics, or simply wishing they could have someone to warmly snuggle with while the snow falls and the year comes to an end. Plus, this year, kissing under the mistletoe is strictly prohibited! Don’t forget however that you are with someone over the holidays: yourself! And that person is worthy of all the best. So – with love – here are some tips on how to stay positive while single during the holidays:
1. Don’t focus on what isn’t present! Focusing on there being some unknown someone ‘missing’ from your life is a recipe for self-inflicted misery. Our minds tend to focus on the external, on what is ‘missing’ – money, happiness, fame, whatever it may be – which prevents us from being present and *gasp* even enjoying it! Focus on yourself – do the things you enjoy, learn something new, treat yourself, read books that help you grow, go to bed early, go to bed late, listen to whatever music you want to, TREAT YOSELF!
2. Exercise. Heard this one before? Does it make you roll your eyes? Well, so what! All science proves that something as simple as a daily brisk walk increases serotonin levels and overall well-being. Exercise helps release nagging thoughts, gain perspective, challenge yourself by setting and reaching goals and boost your confidence and sense of achievement. Listen to uplifting books or podcasts while doing so. Double-win.
3. Stay connected to people – talk to friends and family, reach out to them. Many people find it incredibly hard to reach out to friends and tell them what’s really going on when they’re not feeling too hot. But that is precisely why friends are friends – they want to be there for you! Challenge yourself to reach out more in general, and if you’re depressed, trust you won’t be a burden to the person you want to talk to about it. Most of the time talking to someone else and hearing about their life completely lifts you out of yours – it opens the windows in your brain, if you will, and lets in some fresh air.
These three simple things are guaranteed to help you stay positive. Remember, being single is not a curse, it’s really valuable for self-awareness and growth which should always be your priority anyway!
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