Ever been to an event – a party maybe, or a mixer hosted by an elite matchmaking agency – and you lock eyes with a woman you find attractive and enchanting? Then, you walk over, and start a conversation – but it just flatlines and becomes increasingly awkward. Afterwards, you shake your head at yourself and promise to learn how to be a social king.
And that’s why we’ve cooked this up for you – it’s a quick list of helpful techniques that’ll make it easier to talk to a beautiful woman and grab her attention. And keep her attention on you. Use these tips, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming that social king.
1. Use Your Eyes
Professional, high-achieving salespeople know the power of eye contact. On the other hand, novices in the profession tend to lose out on sales with shifty eye contact that destroys their credibility. It has been rightly said that the eyes are the “window to the soul.”
In fact, eye contact is a powerful erotic stimulator. It’s one of the first ways someone intuitively knows you’re attracted to them. So use it to signal your interest. Here’s one way: when someone is talking to both you and a woman you’re interested in, don’t look at the person talking – instead, look at the woman you’re attracted to. This can immediately make her nervous (in a good way!), as she wonders why you’re looking at her instead of the person talking. And it instantly signals that you’re confident enough to look at her, instead of the speaker. It’s a powerful signal of both attraction and indomitable confidence. Try it!
2. The Art of Small Talk
A lot of high-powered executives cringe at the idea of making “small talk.” These execs deliver board meetings and high-profile talks in front of important people, but when it comes to small talk – they often just don’t know what to say. But, truth be told, small talk is important if you’re aiming to attract that beautiful woman at a mixer or some other event.
So how do you master the art of small talk? Well, there are several specific techniques you can perfect in order to be an expert at conversing with people in a dynamic, captivating way. Here’s one: when talking to that woman you’re interested in, match her mood.
Before talking with her, see if she’s in a high-energy, excited state or if she’s slightly more withdrawn, or bored. You can do that by listening to her voice and her facial expression. Then, when first talking with her, match that mood! She’ll be much more interested in talking with you if your mood isn’t diametrically opposite hers.
3. Watch While You’re Talking
Here’s another tip for those of you who want to get a bit better at small talk: when you’re talking with someone, don’t just stand there and move your mouth and let your words pour forth. No – instead, while you’re speaking, also watch their reactions closely. For example:
Does she smile? She probably is enjoying the talk with you (this one’s pretty straightforward!).
What about her hands? Did you know that more nerves are found between your brain and your hands than between any other body parts? That means that hands are a powerful non-verbal method of communication. So watch her hands when you’re talking with her (of course, don’t make it obvious that you’re watching her hands with microscopic attention to detail). Are her palms opened or closed? Open palms suggest more receptiveness. Are her hands behind her back, in her pockets, or under the table? Then this signals a lack of interest in the discussion.
Other non-verbal cues to look for: if she keeps looking away (disinterest), if she’s frowning (disinterest), nodding (interest), her feet is pointed at you (interest), crossed arms (disinterest), tilting her head (can be a flirtatious signal).
Once you’ve picked up on her non-verbal cues, it’s up to you to decide what to do with that information. For example, if she’s signaling disinterest, it may be because what you’re talking about is boring her. So modulate your conversation appropriately and don’t be “that one guy” who never knows when he’s boring the people around him.
These are just a few techniques you can use to become better at talking with women at parties or other social events you might go to as part of an exclusive matchmaking agency’s package. Of course, there are many more techniques – which we’ll keep sharing with you!