“If you put someone on a pedestal, don’t be surprised when they start acting like you’re beneath them.”
Variants of this quote run amok among dating advice columns.
The message is clear:
If you’re interested in a woman — or you’re dating her, too — don’t put her on a pedestal, because that can end up rather badly.
But some men take this too far.
They’re in a relationship with a woman, but they refuse to give her much attention and respect, because they’re so fearful of “pedestalizing” her.
She doesn’t feel loved at all (and, of course, no healthy relationship should be devoid of love).
So, logically speaking, this brings up the question:
What’s the difference between putting someone on a pedestal, and loving someone?
Here’s my take on this.
If you’re propping a woman up on a pedestal, chances are:
* You begin showering her with compliments, gifts, and an outpouring of attention practically the moment you meet her
* You’ve created, in your mind, a very specific image of who you think she is — without even knowing her very well at all
* For all intents in purposes, you worship her — or, to be more exact, you worship the person you think she is or want her to be
On the other hand, if you love a woman (and it’s a sincere love for who she really is):
* You know her on an intimate, profound level — so the admiration you express for her comes from directly experiencing life with her
* You give her your attention and energy because she’s won a place in your heart over time
* You know her strengths and her weaknesses, her likes and dislikes, her hopes and her fears — and based on this knowledge you have of her, you find her to be full of beauty, inside and out
To sum up:
Don’t put a romantic interest on a pedestal.
But don’t forget to love her fiercely, either, if you two decide to commit to one another.
And if the latter is of interest to you, then high-calibre matchmaking may be for you.
For details on that, go here.