Some dates turn into second dates.
And some even turn into third dates – and beyond.
But other dates don’t go anywhere at all – these dates are both first and last dates.
Why do some first dates fall flat, never to advance past that first dinner or first movie?
The list of possible reasons is quite long, of course – because humans are complex and have a range of desires and motives.
Nevertheless, when both women and men are surveyed to identify why they didn’t ask for a second date with someone, they tend to cite several common answers.
So if you want to find out what kind of behaviours can quell any chances of a second date, then do NOT do the following when you’re out on your first date.
- Checking your phone. All. The. Time. Yes, we now live in an extremely digital era. But that doesn’t mean you should have your hand and eyes glued to your smartphone while you’re on a date with a real, live human. If you’re constantly checking your phone while on a date, then you won’t have the mental energy to focus and really listen to what your date is saying. And that defeats the whole purpose of a first date: to get to know someone better.
- Carrying a negative attitude. In truth, few people enjoy being around a “downer” – someone who’s constantly negative and critical about just about everything. People go into a first date looking for an enjoyable, fun experience – so carrying a negative attitude with you on a date can purge any chances of a second date.
- Interrupting your date. Chronic interrupters – people who habitually cut into the middle of something someone is saying – rarely get second dates. It’s no fun at all to eagerly tell your date an exciting life adventure of yours – only to get rudely cut off by your date. So, master the art of really listening – and avoid the habit of chronic interruption.
- Not talking enough. By now, we’ve probably all heard that you shouldn’t talk only about yourself on a date. This is good advice. However, it’s also important that you do at least some talking – if your date is genuinely trying to get to know you, and asks questions, then take the time and effort to really engage in a two-sided conversation (instead of simply uttering short answers and not contributing anything to the conversation).
