Bad dates – we’ve all been there.

But the good news is this: bad dates can be incredible learning experiences for you.

That’s why our Lyons Elite matchmakers – during date coaching sessions – often use examples of “bad dates” to highlight where someone messed up. That way, you can understand what key behaviours turn a woman off during a date – and what, on the flip side, you can do to ensure your next date goes smoothly.

So here you’ll read about 3 dates that went wrong – and what you can do to stop that from happening on your next date.

The Self-Absorbed Clarinetist

The Story: “One, I spent two hours on a date with a guy. He spent half an hour talking about his clarinet. Then he talked at length about the six year relationship he just got out of…Best part is that because he just broke up with his girlfriend, he just moved into a new apartment. In my building.”

Dating Tip: Having passion for something is good – and it’s good to let that passion shine through during a date. However, the purpose of a first date is for the two of you to get to know each other – so if all you can talk about is one or two things, don’t be surprised if there isn’t a second date. One more thing: unless she asks and seems really interested in the subject, don’t talk in depth about your past relationships! Your date wants to know that you’ve got her on your mind – and that you aren’t still lingering solidly in the past.

 

Awkward Silence

The Story: “He asked no questions and answered my questions with single word answers. He ended up awkwardly standing next to me sort of staring while we drank our beers in silence. I made an excuse and left the bar about 30 minutes after I got there.”

Dating Tip: Again, a date is all about getting to know each other! And that requires active, back-and-forth conversation – no single-word answers, and definitely have the courage to ask her questions of your own. (Wondering what to talk about on your first date? Here are 4 interesting ideas from an elite matchmaking firm.)

 

An Oblivious Firefighter

The Story: “I briefly texted with a firefighter I met on okcupid. He kept treating me like I was some frail, highly insecure waif in need of rescuing. I would literally tell him I was not those things and he would ignore me and keep insisting that I was more beautiful than I thought I was (I have a pretty healthy body image, did NOT complain about my looks) and that he’d basically lift me out of my hellish circumstances (which were actually pretty good at the time).”

Dating Tip: This story highlights one issue with online dating sites – at least for those who are serious about making the best use of their time. People on online dating sites are not vetted by a professional, so whether you’re a man or a woman – you’ll encounter your fair share of rude, oblivious, and self-absorbed individuals. This story also highlights something else: if you’re on a date with someone (or texting them), don’t assume you know any more about them than what they tell you! Few things are as irksome to a beautiful-and-brilliant woman as someone who thinks they’ve got the woman all figured out.